So as I sit pondering throughout my days, and am consistently reminded of South Africa, my heart aches for one child. I only know her first name: Michelle. She was such a joy on the days we stayed around Charity and Faith Mission to minister and love on over 120 orphans. Michelle latched on to me from the very beginning and each day my heart grew for the 8-year-old.
One crazy day as I was sitting with the kiddos when they were going to get new shoes, I was sitting near Michelle and noticed she had tears streaming down her face. When I asked she and the kids what had happened, one of them told me Michelle had gotten hit over the heads by the boy she was sitting beside. Oh did the lioness in me want to come out and protect her! But I refrained as I knew I did not have authority over the children. I sat back, wanting to pounce, yet I watched what occurred later. Granted, Michelle was not totally innocent as I saw her hit the boy back :), yet my love for her grew.
You see, Michelle is one of the 19 children at Bophelong Orphanage, and so many of them have the brightest of eyes, and the most beautiful souls that I’ve seen. Their innocence shines through their circumstances. Many of them have been through more in their short lives than I will ever face in my entire life. My heart yearns to help!
Travis and I have talked since our maternity home days that we are very much interested in adoption, but never before have we talked about international adoption. We have always said there are so many children born domestically that are in dire need of love and attention, yet now our hearts are a little more opened internationally because of what we have seen and experienced in Africa. Granted, South Africa is not quite open to the idea of American parents adopting as there is a treaty the US does not follow that SA wants.
Oh how badly I wanted to bring Michelle home with me, and my desire has ever-grown since being back. This is where my heart needs to become more open to faith, and the desire my God wants from my life, my husband’s life, and the life of our future family. Again, faith is an ever-struggle for me as I desire to have control over my life, my health, my body, and my future family. I know it is a battle that I will NEVER win, yet why do I lack the surrender I most desperately need? We will continue to be in prayer as to where God wants us to go with the desires of our heart, but it is so comforting to know we have a God who directs our path. We are not alone in our struggles to see or hear Him, yet we can take comfort in knowing He will gently nudge us in the right direction.
Travis and I have spent the last school year helping in our church’s Kids Club on Wednesday nights. The past few weeks, even before we left for Africa, all of the lessons have revolved around service. This week’s verse stood out to me so much! Romans 12:12,13 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality”. Yes, I’ve known this verse most of my life, but God loves to bring things forward when we most need it, and I most certainly needed this this week.
*Thank you Father, for providing the most encouraging words and people at the most opportune times! May my faith ever-grow stronger in Your Words and in My prayers! *