PLEASE NOTE: This post was written NOT in response to one individual person, NOR was it written for pitty or acceptance….it is just stirrings of my heart.

So this little post has been on my heart for quite some time…probably since third grade! But I’m throwing this question out there…Why do we quantify or qualify our relationships? Women, why do we feel we have to place “best” in front of a relationship we have with another woman? In general, why do we use the term “best friend”? Probably since we’ve done it since kindergarten! But what does that do to the other relationships in your life?

I can remember having a “best friend” and using that term from kindergarten to third grade, because of course we had a club with a secret language and code (Remember that Cindy?) J But to be perfectly blunt, I don’t think I’ve ever used that term since then. Maybe it’s because I always thought everyone had a best friend and I didn’t, therefore learned to despise that term. (and thus, at almost 30, it still bothers me enough to write a post about it!)

When I think about my relationship with my Savior, I don’t qualify it by saying “Oh, He’s totally my best friend…He’s been with me through so many things in my life…He’s my #1”. No, I say “God has done so many wonderful things for me, and has given me so many blessings in my life. I’m so thankful for Him”. Or even “Uggg, why in the world won’t God listen to me!? All I want is comfort from Him, but I just get silence!” {By the way, I am truly under the belief it is a-ok to question God and even get mad at Him…just look at how David in the Psalms questioned God and lamented to Him! Makes things a little less formal and more real when I can really let out my emotions to my God!}

If we are to model God’s relationship to others, why do we point out to others who our “best friends” are? Look at how Jesus was with His disciples! There wasn’t a “best” disciple.* I know some may think that I’m just being sensitive to this one word, but it’s more than just the word. It’s the entire response and qualification. Granted, I’m usually the one who gets told “they’re my best friends”, or “she’s my best friend”, or even “My best friend _______ says…”, and I may have an insecurity toward these statements, but how in the world should I respond? Should I say, “YAY, you have a best friend!” or “Wow, I feel dumb for not having a friend I can call best”.  I guess I’m trying to ask the question of why we have to rate one friend over the other?

Yes, I have friends who are closer than others to me, but many of the relationships are in different stages of development. One might have been around for more years than others, one individual may have been closer in proximity to me when I was going through some tough times, or one may bring me more wisdom or even fun to the relationship. BUT one relationship, in my book, shouldn’t be rated higher than others.

We woman have issues in relationships. Take it from someone who caused pain to an individual when she (my friend) began dating someone and I was completely in a panic that our relationship was forever changed since the presence of “the guy” (with whom she married!) :). Oh, can I remember the day she was asked how her “boyfriend” was doing…was I livid and tremendously scared all at the same time! (don’t worry, I’ve sought forgiveness and was GRANTED IT!) I’ve also lied to some individuals. *gasp* I know, I’m a sinner and sometimes terrible in relationships! I’ve forgotten to write thank you notes, forgotten to respond to texts, emails, and phone calls, and sometimes, I’ve even forgotten birthdays (sorry, Jen!) 🙂

 But I’m not whole, I’m only part…and you have to learn to love my parts to be my friend. My God will grant me my whole some day, but only when I’m with Him. He gets to experience my whole first and sorry to tell ya, you have to deal with my un-wholeness while I’m on this earth.

I guess with all of that said…I come asking others to think about using the term “best”, maybe even ask the cliché term “What would Jesus do?” and forgo the elementary lingo when qualifying your relationship to others. I guess this is all ramblings, but it is ramblings of my heart, so please be gentle!

AGAIN< PLEASE NOTE: This was not written with one person in mind…it’s been a culmination of events and conversations and now it’s a post, written out of awareness and ramblings. Not intended to hurt or maim. Please read (and if you so chose to respond, please do it…) responsibly! 🙂

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