We have a few things to share…

Tags

adoption, Ethiopia

This post is going to be unlike any I’ve ever posted: We haven’t been completely open with ya’ll throughout the last several months. But today, we are going to ‘spill all our beans’ and allow you to see/hear the truths we have been hiding.

The first truth to be revealed is the fact that I’m not in Ethiopia with Travis this week-there’s a good reason for this, but before I tell you the reason I must digress and review the past few months with you. Beginning on October 15, 2014…

Our referral call came in as a great surprise to us on Wednesday, the 15th of October. Travis and I were over-the-moon happy with seeing the most precious pictures of a little boy in Ethiopia.

The child we were matched with had/has the most amazing God-ordained story. Since October many people have asked about him and are also curious to know about his needs and pre-adoption story, but many of the details we are going to leave for him to tell some day. Altogether though, we will just say God has protected our little man in many ways, and there are some wonderful people in Ethiopia that will forever have our love and gratitude in their care for our little man. 

Fast forward to March 2015 and it still found us waiting for movement in our adoption case. We waited those long months with little-to-no idea how long it was going to take to move forward. So we did what many adoptive families do- we planned in our minds and hearts how we were going to parent our child. How we were going to follow a wonderful attachment plan as soon as we met our little guy in person. And we just knew God was going to bless these amazing plans we had.  

We waited at least 4 months for one single signature to come through. The very week it came we found ourselves in a whirlwind of excitement and stunned anticipation…. 

On March 15th we found out I am pregnant! Talk about a heart-stopper. For days it was the only thing I could think of. I was stunned and completely overwhelmed at what this could mean for our family. 

The same day our long-awaited signature came in, we found out we weren’t just going to have the one child we were planning for, but TWO- a toddler and a newborn!    God most certainly surprised us with the news we are going to become a family of 4 in November. We were blown away- and sometimes still are! 

This pregnancy has been rough. I have been sick most everyday, multiple times a day, and when the news came we had received a court date we knew it would be very hard for me to travel. That is when we decided to ask Travis’ mom and my mom if they would be willing to go to Ethiopia- to our relief they said yes! So Travis is currently in Ethiopia with the grandmas getting to meet and love on our son! 

The pictures in our minds of both of us meeting our son have not happened like we had hoped- The plans we made on how we were going to be living day to day with one child have been challenged. But all of that is okay-God has certainly shown us through these years and months that we are in no way in control of our lives- He is the author and finisher! His plans are better than our own, and for this we are so grateful! 

So in a wonderful swarm of emotions, and all truths revealed we want ya’ll to know we officially have a son!!!! And his name is Titus Nuredin Gingerich! He will be two in August and is all sorts of adorable! We passed court today (June 16th) and he is officially a ‘G’! We can now officially show you his face!!! Enjoy! 

   
     

Filling in the gaps, at least a little…

Tags

adoption, challenges, Ethiopia adoption, God

It’s May 20th, 2015 and we are still waiting, or in the least bit, wading through the ends of this adoption. And we haven’t even met our son yet! But the time is drawing closer. We received notice last week that all investigations are complete, and now we are only waiting on a court date, and therefore a travel date to meet our little Ethiopian! Things were moving so incredibly slow for so long throughout this journey that it almost takes my breath away thinking of how close we are to traveling! What a monstrous answer to prayer!

As we are getting closer and closer to bringing our little guy home, many have asked what we need or how things may look for a little while… And usually, our answers are “we have no idea quite yet”. Our minds are overwhelmed at all the ‘what ifs” we ask ourselves daily. Many may think as they see us preparing for parenthood, or hear us discussing possibilities, that we are overdoing and over-thinking this thing called ‘parenting a hurt child’- but that’s our reality.

We will be bringing a child into our home from a culture that is in stark-contrast to our own. Smells will be completely different, climate will be new, sights will be overwhelming, crowds will most likely be overwhelming (let’s be honest-we live in the Midwest: Caucasians are the majority, and we will be bringing a child into a place where he will become the minority)- all of this together will need to be slowly integrated into our child’s life (or that’s how we are planning on do things…slowly)

When our child steps into our arms forever, he is going to be whisked away to a complete new reality, and we plan on supporting him in this journey with all that we have to give. This will look quite odd for so many who have not been in the international adoption community…

Our parenting will look different. Most likely we will be wearing our son around the house, around the neighborhood, and will be very cautious not to go into public places too soon.

We think strategically about the toys he will have to play with.

Cautious about the people he will be around, and

We will most likely over-analyze things

But we will do it all with prayer and pleas to our Heavenly Father. And we’d love to have your support and prayers along regarding these huge transitions for our family. It’s ‘taken a village’ to complete this adoption, with monies, prayer support, and encouragement throughout. Yet, it’s not near over- We need our ‘village’ to help us become the parents to our little guy that God has ordained us to be. And that, at its core, means we will continue to need your encouragement and prayer if you are willing.

Stay tuned in the near future for what we hope will be the final steps of our adoption!!!

We’ve been given a gift!

Tags

adoption, Christianity, Ethiopia adoption, fundraising for adoption, God, Lifesong for Orphans

It seems to be quite fitting that we are writing about a gift we received recently as we are preparing to celebrate the coming of a Gift that God gave the world for the purpose of salvation.

We received a call a week ago from an organization we had applied to for an adoption grant. They called to tell us the board of directors met and agreed to give us a $2,000 matching grant toward our remaining expenses!

This is a GIFT for us! To receive support from an outside organization, one in which acknowledges the value of adoption and the call of Christ is an incredible blessing for our family. Lifesong for Orphans is just that organization! It is a non-profit Christian ministry dedicated to help meet the needs of orphan children around the world, and to obey God’s call to “visit the fatherless…in the affliction” (James 1:27). Lifesong serves families, churches, and orphans through adoption funding, and advocates daily for the needs of orphans around the world.

Lifesong for Orphans and Family Christian Stores have partnered together to award us a matching grant for $2,000…this is where we need your help in praying for the rest of the funds to come in, and we ask you to consider partnering with us to fill in the gap- Lifesong will gift us based upon the funds that come into their agency under our name.

We have a goal date of February 10, 2015 to complete these matching funds, and would love to have your partnership. This entire adoption journey has been one in which we acknowledge the power God has in provisions and one where we can only give Him the glory. We are very uncertain of what the final cost of this entire journey will be, but we are certain of the fact that without the Lord’s involvement, none of our journey would be paid (to see the progress, and expenses that are left please click on the “adoption status” at the top of this page).

He not only has given us the ability to complete the items we sell and to save from our own incomes, He has moved hearts of individuals to give to our adoption. ***We owe MANY, MANY ‘thank yous’ from throughout the years for helping us along on this journey! One day I truly hope to sit down and absorb all that has been done in Jesus’ name…and to truly write these overdue thank yous!***

As much as we would love to say we are done with the cost of the adoption- we have some big funds needed for the rest of the journey to our son (I know I sound like a broken record!)

This is why we want to provide friends, family, and possibly loving hearts with information to help us match the pledged funds by Lifesong. Below are several options that can be utilized to give in honor of our family. 100% of the funds given in our name will be given to our adoption! Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all US administrative and fund-raising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners), which allows Lifesong to give all adoptive funds without charge.

HOW TO DONATE:

-Check:
-Please make checks payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”.
-In the memo, note “Gingerich family # 4962) to assure it goes to the correct account.
-It can be mailed to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744

-Online:
-to pay online go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate
-Select “give to adoptive family”.
-Complete the online form and fill in #4962 in family account field and ‘Gingerich’ under family name field.
Note: PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $.30 USD per transaction). Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

Important business….

-In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.

-Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totally $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c) 3 tax exempt organization.

-If you have questions about donations please contact info@lifesongfororphans.org

We want to so graciously thank each of you who have already given to our adoption…the blessings that have come have both humbled us and dropped us to our knees in thanksgiving!

our hearts are in awe

Tags

adoption, challenges, Ethiopian adoption, God, God's calling

Our hearts are truly in a million pieces, and for many different reasons. This road of adoption has been, as I’ve said before, a rollercoaster of emotions. It has been a test of our core beliefs, and has rattled the very fibers of who we are….and the biggest reality is- it’s nowhere near over. Travis and I have both screamed, cried, laughed, praised, and lamented throughout this journey’s activities, and the end is not in sight. But you know what’s okay about it? It’s the simple fact that we have seen God’s hand in mighty ways. We have seen His power at work and His promises come to fruition. And the best part? It’s not yet over-this is just the beginning.

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These 4 years of hoping and dreaming we would someday see a face (or faces) from across the ocean (as much as I hate to type it…) were completely needed. Four years is a long time to hold tight to a dream; to follow blindly a promise you hold dear. And it’s a long time to hold on to an ambiguous wish while needing to live ‘normally’ when nothing seems to be happening.

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Fast-forward to today when we actually have a face, name, and story to place into our journey of adoption, but (enter drum roll) we still wait. Yes, the name and face help, but the wait is still very much real and significant. We work daily to embrace the wait- for God’s glory. We started this process not for our own gains, but for the simple fact that we want to be vessels for the Lord and live according to the path He chose for each of us. And this still means we struggle. Our hearts struggle to find understanding and relief from this process just to find that it never.will.happen. We will never fully understand the measure for which God is working, and in this I am strongly in awe.

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How can it be that for the past 4+ years He has prepared our hearts to accept a child He has chosen for us, yet for most of the wait, wasn’t even alive?! And now? The child sits on the other side of the world, waiting for a family. God’s promises are becoming more evident through a tiny face we have only seen in a handful of pictures. The beauty of this idea and reality is so overwhelming at times. Knowing and seeing evidence of God’s orchestration of the details is something I cannot fathom. We have met incredible families that have brought comfort to our wait-and we continue to meet families that most likely will forever be a part of our adoption story. This wait has not been in vain. There is purpose and promise behind every turn, even if that’s a change in paperwork or an added expense- but ultimately every piece of this adoption puzzle must be for His glory and His glory only.

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Adoption is NOT for the weak-of-heart, but it is for those who are willing to have their hearts broken in many little pieces…only to have the Lord put the pieces back together in His time, and for His glory alone. Would you continue praying for us? For this wait; for us to continue seeing His promises and power at work? And for many of the families in the adoption process-that they will see daily His hands in their journey? It’s been a crazy road to walk, but because of our faith, we deeply know He is guiding the way.

The call we’ve been waiting on!!!!

Tags

adoption, Ethiopia, Ethiopian adoption, fundraising for adoption, God

Well, it came. “THEE CALL”! We’ve been matched with a little boy in Ethiopia!

It is still so surreal. Wednesday, October 15th will always be a day we remember! I saw the much-anticipated ‘703’ area code on my phone, but thought nothing of it as we just recently updated paperwork and I entertained the thought that maybe something needed to be corrected. When our family coordinator asked if Travis could be reached by phone, I knew this was not a call about paperwork. After trying to reach Travis for a conference call, we were finally both connected with Kelsey and she proceeded to tell us she was looking at the face of an adorable, healthy little 14 month old boy with chubby cheeks. Travis and I both lost it- we blubbered throughout most of the call and only heard a few details of the little babe we may get to call our son. It was amazing.
We were emailed numerous papers and information after hanging up the phone-along with 6 glorious pictures we drooled over at first site. Travis ended up leaving school early as his teachers and principal were so gracious to let him make the drive home before the day was complete. He came home and we looked at the pictures together for the first time.

We cried.

I screemed.

And we fell in love with a boy’s precious face on the other side of the globe.

Sweet tears of blessings have flowed numerous times since those early moments of news. God has moved our adoption forward! To quote my 8 year old nephew for my reply to this answer of prayer: “Hallelujah!” *Although we are not allowed to publicly post pictures of him or any specific information until after we have passed court, I can give you a teaser picture… 🙂

What’s ahead:
We have two weeks to decide if we want to move forward with his referral. As far we we’re concerned, there is no choice. We want him. We look at his pictures regularly- like almost every hour. (I ‘may’ have woken up several times throughout the last few nights just to look at his sweet face.) But we have a lot to do to move this forward again…we have paperwork to sign, some MAJOR money to be sent in with our acceptance, and we have more updates and new paperwork to complete.

This is where we become vulnerable and transparent…
We are depleted. Our financial situation is not ideal. Travis had an ER visit, two surgeries, and various specialist appointments in the month of September for two kidney stones. This past year we had to begin leasing a car because one of our two paid off cars decided it needed a 3rd transmission, we discovered a mold issue in our bathroom that needed a full overhaul, and we updated our immigration paperwork for this adoption… Thus, 2014 required much from us emotionally, physically, and most certainly, financially. We depleted our savings and still have medical bills to pay.

We truly have tried to be good stewards of the monies God has given to us through our fundraisers. And we understand some others’ questions of whether we should progress through the adoption because of our finances, but we know personally that God provides. He has literally provided EVERY PENNY up until this point, and we KNOW He will provide the rest of the funds we need.

We have some options of grants for travel expenses, but it’s the current $5,635.00 that is our most pressing need at this time. We cannot accept our referral until we are able to send in this amount.

My pride is wounded as I write our needs out. We know God is the God of miracles, and we can be bold in His name- yet, we are human. We have struggles we do not like to admit having.

So many of you have already been a blessing in supporting us, and for this we are so grateful. We would love to still have your involvement in this process as we move forward. We have been blessed to be able to do the adoption debt-free, and we know this is the best option for our family.

Would you consider being a part of the miracle God is orchestrating in our lives and the life of a little boy in Ethiopia? Our agency has a program entitled “the eternal family program” where individuals can give monetarily in honor of a specific family. Contributions can be tax deductible, and further information can be found HERE.

We look forward to continuing this journey with you!!!

the journey

We have been on a very long journey, with no idea when things will change-whether bumpy, smooth, gratifying, or rigid it’s not in our control. I do know one thing is certain: God is right alongside us.

In Exodus 3:12, God says to Moses “I will be with you” as Moses has been called by God to go back to Egypt to free the Israelites. I find myself at that spot many times: coming up with excuses for moving forward. I lack in the ‘trust’ department, but I realize this journey is not for us: It is for the God I serve.

We will always be traveling a journey, whether it’s this adoption or anything else that comes along our path. This journey will never be complete until we are in the arms of our Lord and Savior, but until then, my prayer is that we consistently follow the path God has laid out specifically for us.

If you are reading this post because you would like an update on our journey… don’t worry, I’m working on one. Lots of things have happened and lots of things are still happening-my hope is to sit down and write it all out for ya.  So stay tuned for our bumpy journey… but until then, know that the God of Moses is with you wherever He is leading!

“Can we fix it?”

Tags

adoption, Ethiopia adoption, questioning God, spirituality

Oh how these words have sprung to my head so much lately.

I’m sure many of you are aware of the ol’ adage “when it rains it pours”… How true this has been within our recent weeks. Things have come a’pourin’ and the only way we can “fix” it is to increase our trust in our God.

-Between a car with its second need-to-be-replaced-transmission…thus resulting in a need for a new car after both cars have been paid off, and the decisions surrounding what car to replace it with (that’s a whole’nother post!)

-Shower tiles that had been holding on for dear life (a lot longer than they should’ve been!) that finally fell off revealing various shades of mold. Thinking the replacement of said tiles would only take 3 days to complete, we approached the project with much DIY vigor, only to still be trekking to family members’ homes to take showers to this day.

-sicknesses lasting weeks longer than they should have

-adoption fund painfully and prayerfully depleted because of needing to afford the above major items without too much debt…admittedly all while the Holidays of gift giving and travel were upon us.

But those are not the reasons I write…those are just pictures of what was/is tangibly happening here. There is one major issue that was presented to us a few weeks ago that sparked shear panic among the adoption community in Ethiopia-the serious discussion of closure of all intercountry adoptions.

This happened just after the US’s celebration of Christmas. For an entire weekend the social networking of individuals in the adoption community erupted with rumors of meetings of high-level individuals in Ethiopia hearing presentations why the government should decide to close adoptions altogether.

The weekend ended, and the rumors were affirmed. There in fact had been a multiday meeting of hundreds of government officials and public stakeholders in Ethiopia to discuss various aspects of recent research concerning important life-issues…one of them being adoption. Groups discussed this area widely, and it was noted there was a lot of support from governmental officials to change international adoptions in Ethiopia and to increase domestic adoption in Ethiopia, yet there were still individuals in support of the benefits of intercountry adoptions.

 In the end, it was presented the umbrella agency officiating Ethiopian adoptions, called MOWCYA, would have 10 business days to prepare more research for Parliament and Ethiopia’s Prime Minister… ideas and research of their positions-either closing intercountry adoptions, reforming the processes, and/or plans to increase domestic adoptions.

We are still in the 10-day wait…

With all of the craziness of information, expenses, and projects over the course of the last weeks, I ask myself “Can we fix it?” (with the ever-annoying Bob the Builder response, “yes we can!” naturally answering). But that’s a lie. We have absolutely no control over any of these situations. We had no control over the fact that the worst year for Honda Civic transmissions was the exact year we had, nor had control over those pesky ancient tiles from falling one bunch at a time like a Tetras game. And as always, we have absolutely no control over our adoption journey. Could I pull my hair out from all of this mess? Absolutely! Can I get so angry over the fact that I want to see God’s hand in this process more than ever now? Most definitely! Can my anxiety be increased over the whole of issues we have had pouring in over us? Ummm-yes. Can I fix any of it? Nope. And it sucks.

There, I said it. It sucks. It sucks that we wait-and have waited over 3 years from the beginning of our application. It sucks as I sit and watch everyone’s life move forward while we feel stagnant. But even with the feelings of dread that come over me at times, I realize it changes nothing. I can do nothing to move the process faster, but I do know the One who can.

Do I always trust Him? Not like I should. Do I waiver in my faith to believe He is bigger than all of these issues? Yes. Some days are better than others. Some days the clouds seem more beautiful, the sun brighter, and the idea clearer that my God can move any mountain that gets in the way of His will. But lately? I struggle with knowing the deepness of my Father’s love- of hearing His voice or feeling His hand of support. Why is our home empty while children are on the other side of the world DYING? Why does it seem everyone around us is settling in to a nice, comfortable life, while we sit in quiet pain wondering when this roller coaster we’re on is going to take off and move? I’m at a loss some days.

But altogether, it is paramount for me to remember I am not here for my benefit, nor for Travis or my family’s…I am here as a vessel for the Lord, even with no children. I am a vessel for the Lord, alone. He is the One that must work…He is the only one that can answer my question of “Can we fix it?” with the reassuring response of “Only I can”. I pray that when I hear the question “can we fix it” pop into my head, I no longer here the squeaky response of “yes we can”, but the ever-resounding sound of God triumphantly saying “Only I can”!

pruning

Tags

adoption, BSF, Ethiopia adoption, pruning, spiritual growth

Oh dear reader,

How I wish I could express the feelings swirling around our home each and every day. But I will spare you boredom and pity.  Truth is, I’ve given up writing blogs- as well as reading them. Three years ago I was so excited to be on this journey- one that looked very different from what it has become. The Ethiopian adoption scene was quite different in 2010- including one trip, a short wait, and a “fast” timeline. Our current wait doesn’t have anything to do with the idea of twins, or age as there has been an immense slow-down in Ethiopian adoptions. Even families who have chosen to follow God’s calling to choose a child from our waiting children list are seeing a dynamic pause in the process.

I’m tired of it all.

I don’t say this to receive sympathy or special care from others. I say this because it’s reality. I don’t check my email in eagerness of receiving anything adoption related. I have looooong let go of looking forward to a phone call from the notorious 703 area code. And what may seem completely selfish and wrong, I avoid  interacting with  many adoptive families. It has nothing to do with who they are (as many of them mean so much to me), but it aches my heart and initiates the personal dialogue between me and God about how our (Travis and my) life feels as if it is in one extreme holding pattern. We don’t have other children to “distract” us…we go to our jobs, do what we do every day, and find ourselves wondering what God is trying to teach us.

This.is.hard.

I want to be humorous. I desire to be uplifting and positive, but I struggle. I want to be honest with how hard this process is. We are regularly asked how the adoption is going…and each time we have to answer “we have no idea”. It’s challenging for us to want people to ask about our journey, yet we hurt each time we say “it’s still there- the adoption is still in-process”. While knowing our 2 year old paperwork is sitting in Ethiopia somewhere, and here in the States we are going to be redoing the majority of our paperwork, it’s such a challenge to stay in our reality and hold onto the faith we held on to when we started this journey.

I write this to process and to remember one day the depth of feelings and emotions we experience while God prunes us into the couple/family He has created us to be. I try to hold on to the Scriptures of promise and I revel in our current BSF study in Matthew, yet my faith in God’s pruning is ragged. This faith-journey is rough, bumpy, ugly, surprising, and honest. But overall, I know we rely upon the God who has called us- the God who has blessed us in ways we cannot even specify. I pray we consistently remember not to rely upon earthly understanding of this process, but to glorify God in the wait- even if it’s during a pruning season…..

-THIS is what I’m trying to express to myself each day. To trust.

waiting, and still on the roller coaster

Tags

adoption, Ethiopian adoption, God, roller coaster

“Adoption is messy. It’s hard. It can be ugly and beautiful all at the same time.” We have said these three statements so many times, and we haven’t even experienced the entire adoption journey from beginning to end. Right now it’s feeling as though we are just stuck-with no direction or time limit. And to be completely honest, it’s wearing on me.

In July it will officially be three years when we sent in our initial payment and application. We had absolutely no clue how this journey was going to look, and we still don’t. I’m telling you, this has been the longest roller coaster ride I have ever been on- and it’s nowhere near complete! I despise roller coasters- I’m not an adrenaline junky, nor do I love that stomach-in-your-throat feeling.I avoid these rides at all costs. To be truthful I haven’t been on one since my senior class trip to Cedar Point and I have no desire to ever go on one again. The anxiety I feel on that first giant hill- you know, where the links in the chain pull yank you up one by one, just to drop you down the other side is like a torture technique to me. I think my heart literally stops beating, and I just begin to cry and scream because I JUST WANT OFF. Completely helpless because I’m at someone else’s (or some thing’s) mercy.

That’s kind of what I have been feeling like the past week or two. I want off this ride. I’m tired of the ups and the downs. The feelings of life going upside down and helpless, the racing heart of the phone ringing, the excitement of a donation, and the tears of wanting off the ride are all present. I’m exhausted. I spend way too much time looking around me and seeing friends and families’ lives carrying on with children and being “families” my heart hurts.  I’m not jealous or envious, yet seeing all of the expectant moms, new moms, new adoptions, and moving adoptions just can make me hurt-and thus begins the doubts swirling in my heart and head.

I want off this ride. I want some movement. You know those breaking news stories when you hear a roller coaster stopped in the middle of the ride, leaving its passengers in the middle of a giant drop, or even the dreaded upside down position…yah, that’s kinda what it is feeling like to me right about now. I’m waiting to get this ride working again, seeing progress, or just waiting to be rescued.

We KNOW that God has called us to this adoption. And we KNOW God has spoken to each of us about twins. Yet we also know this request is so few and far between that we have no timeline to even consider during the wait. -there’s no announcement from the roller coaster technician saying “Please stay buckled in your seats, the ride should begin within the next ten minutes”. Yah, nothing like that can happen- we will have no hint until we get “THE CALL”.

We have been SO SURE this is where God wants us. Yet, on days when the coaster has seemed to have come to a complete stop in the middle of the track, doubts creep into the journey and I feel as if we are on the wrong ride. God has placed us on THIS journey for His purpose and glory, yet I’m struggling. I struggle every time I hear a friend is expecting a new baby- not in the my-arms-yearn-to-hold-our-child sort of way, but I struggle in the notion that I have no idea where we are on the journey. Are we going to see our children soon? Are we going to be parents soon? Are we going to have to wait a lot longer? Cause God, I’d like to know if we can get off of this ride sooner or later…I’m not sure my heart can take much more of this wait.

The carrot has been dangling in front of us for almost three years…I’m exhausted. Days go by when I don’t want to think of the adoption. I don’t want to see pictures of families together. I don’t want to hear of people receiving “the call”. It’s not because I’m bitter, it’s because I feel alone. Alone in the messy feelings of “the wait”. This include the “new” emotion I’ve been experiencing…it’s called guilt. Our agency has a glorious “list” called the ‘waiting child list’. I’m sure you’ve heard of such a list. Oh my, does that page stir MANY feelings in my heart. I would absolutely take every child on that page and fill my house with each of those smiling faces. But in reality, we have to rely upon our God to direct our path, but knowing that we need to wait upon His call I have complete guilt.

Guilt when I see other families choosing to change their requests and to pursue a waiting child…is this something that God is calling us to do? So far, I know Travis and I have the same conclusion- no. No, we don’t believe God is calling us to an older child adoption, nor one with severe special needs at this time. We began with the desire to be open to anything God wills for our lives, and we still feel confident that He will direct us differently if His will changes for us. But in the hard, dark days when this roller coaster journey called adoption is upside down and twisting like there’s no tomorrow, guilt-doubt-helplessness-and anger all rear their ugly heads. And THAT is when I want off this ride. No it doesn’t mean I want to get off the adoption-road, but some days I just check-out. I don’t want to hear of another friend expecting to see their child in 9 months. NINE MONTHS…what a short little roller coaster! 🙂 Some days I just think “why are we doing this adoption? why did we choose adoption first, rather than just “try” for bio kids?” But ultimately either method is completely chosen by our Creator…even if it means a H-U-G-E roller coaster ride in the meantime.

Yep. Sums it all up pretty well, just in this pic alone!

 

(footnote to the skeptics…NO, I am NOT bitter because my quiver is not full…these feelings are raw and real, but I can still celebrate life no matter the measure of family-development. I am still able to be excited for new birth and fresh adoptions. And no, I’m not wanting sympathy by writing these words. I’m writing my thoughts and reality.)

a sweet surprise one Thursday…

Tags

adoption, Ethiopia, fundraising for adoption, God's calling, Levenhagen Photography, The Courier

A few weeks ago, on a Thursday I went to Bible study, went to work, and later received a special email from a reporter from our local newspaper asking whether or not we would be willing to sit down for an interview for an article. She was so sweet as she was cautious as to whether or not we would be comfortable talking about adoption. Our answer: OF COURSE WE’LL DO IT! WE LOVE ADOPTION!!!

It was such glorious timing as we just had discussed earlier that morning God’s timing in Abraham and Sarah’s wait for a child. This study of the book of Genesis has been such a wonderful thing for me. Everything has revolved around God’s purpose for His people and also about the waiting many of the people in the Bible had to complete. What great lessons and encouragement have been discussed throughout this year’s Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) study!

The wait of this adoption can be a blessing and a curse- depending upon the day. But I must tell you, to have been contacted by the reporter was nothing less than our good Lord saying to us “I’m still in your journey- I’m walking alongside you”. Things like this just do not “happen”…I truly believe they are planned by a Power that is a lot more loving and organized than I am!

Our interview with Joy Brown from The Courier was such a gift. She was incredibly kind and gracious while we spewed our passions about adoption, and listened with an open ear. We answered the questions as best we could- everything from how we met, how we became interested in adoption, the process we’ve been through up to this point, and about our fundraisers. Oh how we had her writing madly in her notebook! Luckily though, our interview was recorded and she did an amazing job at thoroughly using the details to write a wonderful article. Joy also set up such a sweet video-complete with images from our church, pictures from our dear friend, Tiffany Levenhagen of Levenhagen Photography of our hats, and segments of our recorded interview.

Want to know how she came to learn of our story? (This is the cool part). In the fall she and her family had pictures taken by Tiffany and through her Facebook page, came across our information and pictures. Joy then checked our blog, our FB page, and etsy…which then led to her contacting us. Isn’t that amazing?! I have to tell you, our adoption journey would not be what it is if Tiffany was not a part of it. Ever since our very first craft show where Tiffany walked into our booth for a few hats, special people and special things have come into our lives…all from the glorious pictures from Levenhagen Photography. We have been blown away> so much so, I tend to run out of words to describe all that has been happening! All I come up with is the word BLESSING…everything has been wonderful blessings for us along this journey!

So from our first email a few Thursdays ago, our article was in yesterday’s (Thursday) paper!

If you’d like to read the entire article, you can HERE!

And here is the sweet video: